The Anonymity Thing

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The one question that came in on my FAQ post was the one I knew I had to address in greater depth than the comments section – the anonymity thing. When I meet people in person through this site, it almost always comes up… some get it, some don’t and I’m OK either way as long as they respect my wish to remain anonymous.

I naturally have close friends and family members who know I have this site and they mostly interact with me about stuff posted here offline. I think they like their anonymity too!

So why? What’s the big deal? Everyone else has their selfies all over instagram and their blogs, so what’s my problem?

I chose anonymity 5 years ago for many reasons. It’s not because I’m ashamed of how I look- I’m not! I was, however, a little insecure about why anyone would care about my renovation journal, and I didn’t want it to be about ME, but about sharing interests. As a transplant trying to learn my way in this town, I also wanted it to be a way of connecting with my new community. I had never lived in a suburban area before, and I missed the interactions we enjoyed in urban apartments and historic neighborhoods, despite loving our new found privacy. So I guess I was seeking some virtual neighbors.

My choice to fly under the radar, yet still be in a public domain, might be seen as hypocritical by some, and that’s OK..it’s my gig! My blogging has always felt a bit narcissistic, so maybe part of me feels slightly less self centered if I keep my image out of it?

It just seemed if I didn’t try to be everything it would keep things simple.

HA! It has actually been far more difficult to remain anonymous when today, so much social media is connected. My google account wants to connect with my Facebook who wants to connect with EVERYTHING, and it seems like there has to be constant vigilance every time software gets updated because THEY know who I am and they want me to share it ALL by default.

I choose to remain anonymous now because I realized the community I wanted was, and is, there…without having to give it all up! I don’t keep my children’s spaces and faces under wraps because I think predators are stalking us – we just aren’t that interesting – but it’s about respecting them and their privacy…especially as they are getting older. They used to WANT me to put them up on the site, and now they are very glad I don’t, and you can’t “undo” that kind of stuff. I also like to think I am teaching them that the internet can be a wonderful place if you are careful and responsible…but I could really be deluding myself there – I guess time will tell?  If the Things turn Anthony Weiner > Carlos Danger in their young adulthood, the last laugh will be on me.

BTW, I don’t judge anyone who wants to post their kids online AT ALL – I think it’s great, I know I enjoy following along, and I truly admire them for feeling free enough to do so, it’s just not me/us.

I guess, at the end of the day, I just never thought it mattered. I can only picture the voices of my peeps on NPR and does it stop me from listening? Nope, I nerdily tune in every day (Ari Shapiro is now in London!) and listen along, blissfully unaware with no faces to many of the names….although, Ira Glass is kinda handsome.

Theater of the mind, friends…theater of the mind.